I was asked if I had heard the rumor about high school and college kids soaking vodka in tampons and then inserting them (for the ladies, in their vaginas, and for the dudes, in their anuses) so that they can get drunk, on lesser amounts of hooch, all whilst “tricking” their parents because they cannot smell booze on their breath.  I had NOT, in fact, heard of this practice, and it seems a little odd to me, I get the idea that you can buy cheap booze in lesser quantity and get drunk, but it’s kind of hard to hide the fact that you’re wasted, whether your breath smells like booze or not, when you’re falling all over the place and slurring….I pretty much thing the jig is up vodka breath or not!  But there is a lot of talk whether this is rumor or truth, and if it does work.

What’s the deal?

So, does this happen?  Yup, it is a bit of an epidemic, actually, and it is done more and more frequently.  The tissue in the vagina and anus are highly vascularized and much like the tissues of the GI tract, so alcohol can be ingested through the tissues and right into the bloodstream.  That being said, because it is directly absorbed into the blood stream you get drunk faster, and off of less alcohol.  One problem is that you can’t really control the amount of alcohol you ingest, and it is absorbed quickly, so you can get drunk really fast….making it tough to gauge your level of drunkenness.  Normally, you can stop drinking or drink slower, grab a water, etc. but when you insert it into you, you get what you get! There is no stopping that alcohol from being absorbed other than taking the tampon out, and by the time you are super drunk, the damage is already done.

One other little issue, is that the way that your body excretes alcohol is through the lungs and liver…so you will still have vodka breath.  Sorry kiddos, just the nature of the beast and how our bodies excrete the alcohol, when we exhale we are getting rid of the byproducts of alcohol excretion (one reason after a night of boozing your mouth tastes MISERABLE in the morning).  So on top of acting like a drunken fool, you will still smell like booze.  Plus, since you are bypassing your GI tract (your stomach) you are bypassing one of the bodies mechanisms to prevent over intoxication i.e. vomiting.  Normally when you go out and have a few drinks, and you have a few too many, your body will think, that last drink was WAY too much, we are going to get rid of all the alcohol in their system, and you vomit for the next few hours….good times!  (And usually the next day you are swearing off alcohol for the rest of your life, naturally.)  So, when you get drunk by absorbing alcohol directly into your bloodstream through your vagina or anus, you are at high risk for alcohol poisoning.

Plus, putting alcohol directly on those tissues, can really do some damage and make them a little raw, those are sensitive tissues, by design, and not really intended for absorbing things.  So by making those sensitive tissues absorb strong alcohol, it can cause micro tears in the tissues, thus putting you at a higher risk for contraction of STDs….if you engage in high risk behaviors.  You should always use condoms, but if you take out a vodka soaked tampon to have sex, really make sure you are being safe.

The Bottom Line:

While this behavior was thought to be a rumor, kids have been dabbling for years, but college campus health service clinics and hospitals alike have been seeing this as more of an epidemic with alcohol poisoning due to ingesting too much alcohol too fast through the old vodka soaked tampon technique.  My best advice, if you’re underage, hang out with your friends and lay off the alcohol….and don’t go shoving things in you that you don’t need to be, it’s just good sense.  Right?

Yours in Good Health

B